Everyone will experience bereavement and grief at some time throughout their life. To be bereaved usually means to lose someone we love through death, which can be devastating. It results in a great longing for that person and a long period of adjustment. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, grief and bereavement also has physical, cognitive, behavioural, social, and philosophical dimensions. It affects people in different ways, and there's no right or wrong way to feel. You might feel a lot of emotions at once, or feel you’re having a good day, then you wake up feeling worse again. All parts of our being may be affected - emotional, physical, spiritual and social - but the overriding feeling is one of intense pain, or grief.
Typically….
- Shock and disbelief – Right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. You may feel numb, have trouble believing that the loss really happened, or even deny the truth. If someone you love has died, you may keep expecting them to show up, even though you know they’re gone.
- Sadness – Profound sadness is probably the most universally experienced symptom of grief. You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness. You may also cry a lot or feel emotionally unstable.
- Guilt – You may regret or feel guilty about things you did or didn’t say or do. You may also feel guilty about certain feelings (e.g. feeling relieved when the person died after a long, difficult illness). After a death, you may even feel guilty for not doing something to prevent the death, even if there was nothing more you could have done.
- Anger – Even if the loss was nobody’s fault, you may feel angry and resentful. If you lost a loved one, you may be angry at yourself, God, the doctors, or even the person who died for abandoning you. You may feel the need to blame someone for the injustice that was done to you.
- Fear – A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. You may feel anxious, helpless, or insecure. You may even have panic attacks. The death of a loved one can trigger fears about your own mortality, of facing life without that person, or the responsibilities you now face alone.
- Physical symptoms – We often think of grief as a strictly emotional process, but grief often involves physical problems, including fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, weight loss or weight gain, aches and pains, and insomnia.
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